Micah is two years old tomorrow

Micah is going to be two years old tomorrow. He and his family went to Tootsie railroad yesterday. His mom, dad, little baby brother, Omi, Uncle, and PopPop and MiMi went. I get to watch them on Facebook. They love taking pictures and videos so I go to their page and look. Yesterday when I was looking I saw something I had never seen before. I recognized that Micah is aware. He is becoming a person with understanding. It struck me. He is growing up; he is becoming a person and I have very little influence. Like I didn't know that was going to happen but it is different when someone knows something in their head and when they know something in their gut. It made me sad yet glad because he is in such a good place. I wonder though will he feel something missing in his inner person? He stares into space alot, I have seen that in his biological father, he does that too and when I see him doing that I think oh my is he lonely, what is he thinking about?

We are going to the mountains to see he and his family. It is for his birthday.
When we go to see Micah will he know us in his spirit? I know he won't know us from reality but will he know from within. Will he remember when I held him in the nursery at the hospital for a half hour,the only half an hour I would have alone with him ever in his young life, whispering to him that I loved him, that we loved him, that we would always love him, that I wish it could be different, that I loved him........

I pray for Micah everyday. Will that have an effect on him? Will he ever know that I pray for him? Will he know?

It is interesting because this adoption is very open and I still feel this way. I wonder if one day we will not be able to see him anymore. His parents are very nice and they know the Lord but I still know the possibility is always present that we will never see him so.....I give. I want to be a blessing to his family. Is there motive behind it.. I guess so. I hope not. I just want to be in Micah's life in whatever way I am allowed to be. A very humbling position. The lesson is loud. Is this not how I should be in any relationship. Should I not be willing to give without return? Sow into a life without the knowledge that I get something in return?